Saturday, September 03, 2005

So What Does That Make Me?

I recalled reading something in "Savage Love"--a sex advice column by Seattle-based media personality Dan Savage--regarding a study on bisexual men. I haven't found a link to the study, but you can read Savage's article here.

What do you make of this? I've self-identified as bisexual for the better part of the last decade; but I have found that my attraction to men is limited with regards to what sort of man attracts man, how often I'm likely to meet such men, the percentage of such men who who are gay, bisexual or bi-curious. Indeed, the type of man I find attractive is, generally speaking, straight; and the mechanisms of my attraction, and the way I manifest it, more closely resemble the cryptically homoerotic overtones of rugby and Fight Club than the proto-metrosexual aesthetic sold to and by the gay mainstream.

While there's much that the study would seem to fail to take into account--I mean, presumably there's more to erotic attraction than a simple measure of what gets your dick hard--I find it interesting.

And while we're on the question . . . What does it mean to be bisexual, anyway? Someone whose identity I won't reveal without permission has discussed this with me at length. She is attracted to women far more than I am to men, if taken in sheer numbers and variety (curiously, she tends to like girlie-girls; I'm the one who can't resist the riot grrrl types); but where I can actually imagine myself being in a long-term romantic relationship with a man--were I not already married to so fine an amazon goddess as my incredible spouse--she can't imagine herself in such a relationship with a woman. Of course, we have to temper this speculation with the understanding that I really have no idea whether I could carry on such a long-term commitment: We're operating purely on theory here. So, given all that, which of us is the real bisexual?


Blogger Gizmo said...

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6:11 PM  
Blogger dan said...

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6:14 PM  
Blogger Blogging Blogging Queen said...

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6:19 PM  
Blogger Stine said...

So how much do I love this post?

Before I respond to the rest of it I think cutting a piece from Savage's article best sums up my feelings:

"Want a woman who isn't bi-phobic, STUD? Then find a bisexual woman." - Dan Savage

Sometimes Mr. Savage says it much better than I could.

As for that study, they sampled 101 men. Statistically speaking (and I don't even remember my stats class like I'm sure amandak does), 101 men does not a study make. That number is a drop in the bucket and the results of said study, in my opinion, can be looked at only as one views a horoscope - possible useful information if it fits, but not scientific fact.

Also, they don't take into account female bisexuality. If we are going to make scientific suppositions of bisexuality, wouldn't they have to be the same across the gender board? Also, as we discussed, isn't there more to sexual arousal than a hard dick? What would they choose to measure in women? Lubrication? Erect nipples?

It seems to me that any scientist worth his salt would take into consideration things like: heart rate, perspiration, muscle tension, respiration rate. I mean I didn't read the abstract of the study, but it doesn't sound like they went that in depth.

And I don't know how to answer your question as to which one of us is the real bisexual. I tried to have a relationship with a women, it failed miserably, as you well know. I enjoy having sex with women. You, however, have not had a relationship with a man. I would be interested to see if you could be in a long term relationship with a man. I invite you to consider this fully as men can drive you CRAZY! (I love you honey)

What I know, is that I enjoy looking at women, I enjoy having sex with them on occasion, but at the end of the day it's completely and utterly about COCK!

6:42 PM  

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